Two.

Today is my mom’s birthday and for some reason I am brought to mind the day when she was cleaning up after breakfast in my grandmother’s kitchen. I could hear them putting things away and talking about the involved garbage disposal and recycling system the city demanded. Then I heard my grandmother say the cafetiera was on the wrong shelf.
“But it’s always on this shelf”
“No it’s not. It belongs here”
“OK mamma, I’ll put it there”
There was a purposeful show of tolerance in my mom’s voice that I had heard before. Silence followed for a while and then a quiet scrape and immediately afterward my mother walked quickly out of the kitchen and into the bedroom to dress for the day.

When I asked her later what happened she told me that she moved the cafetiera, even though she had seen it on the other shelf, had always seen it on the other shelf every time she had come to visit. She moved it to the other shelf and as soon as she turned her back to continue drying dishes, her mother, still unsatisfied, leaned over and slid it an almost imperceptible amount to the left.

“She can’t let me do anything without correcting it a little”.
“Uh huh” I responded, smiling. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It was a bit of a revelation to see my mother in the same position I had been in so many times and I was enjoying seeing her in the other role.
“What”? Mom asked, “I’m not like that”!
“Of course not, and I’m not either”.
I thought about all the times I tried to get my husband to see why my system in the kitchen was so important. Or why it mattered so much that the laundry was done in a certain way.

I finally got why I loved order so much.

A couple of days ago my mom and I picked up my sister for some sushi. While we waited for Lisa to get her purse I could see my mom looking at a calla lily and fern arrangement my sister had put together. “Those don’t belong there” I heard her say to herself. She removed two thirds of the fern leaves from the arrangement and then shifted the lilies around a little. Stepping back she reviewed her work with a little grunt of satisfaction and then walked to the kitchen to throw away the stems she had removed.

"Uh huh" I thought again, "you're not like that at all".

Happy Birthday Mamma!